Not the best week, but it probably could have been worse

Actually it might just get worse pretty quick. That depends a lot on what Essex Ford says about the car and whether there is mechanical problems as well as body damage to the car. Hopefully we will find out something tomorrow. More about that later.

I have run away from my family downstairs. I needed to get a way for just a little while, they were getting too loud and sometimes it just gets to be too much. This tends to happen more when I have missed a dose or two of my medication. But I have been good lately. It's just that the girls are all wound up and Alex insists on having the radio on constantly. I enjoy music too, but there is never a quiet moment with the iPOD either shouting out music, or the mindless rambling of the the dorks from WDFN trying to figure out why the sports teams in Michigan suck. I thought that leaving the country would save me from having to listen to them all the time, But no.....podcasts have come and bitten my on the toosh. Everytime I get something for Alex, it seems to cause me more trouble than good. With the laptop came him constantly being on the computer while we watch TV. It was so bad that the first summer we hired a speech therapist to work with Emily, one of the exercises was to have Emily arrange things and people around the house and then talk about what she had done. She put Alex laying on the couch infront of the TV with the computer on his lap. She put me laying on the bed taking a nap, I was pregnant with Sam at the time and took a nap or two. I remember her telling the therapist that the baby was going to sleep in the tub. =) Now with the iPOD, there is a contant level of noise going at all times. This above the norm that having Frick and Frack results in. It can just become too much stimuli. Though he is finishing up the dishes so I guess I shouldn't complain too much that he wants something to listen to.

It's just been a long day. Though most days are long lately. I having been fighting a cold and that does not help. Today was Jo-Jingles day with Samantha. Our music/dance class. Today they started some music theory too. Samantha was really into it. We gave her a few different instruments for her birthday last week, so we can test out the dynamics she learned on them. It is fun to go to, but rather than going in the morning like we used to, we go 1:30 - 2:15. Which means that with a toliet break afterwards, we have just enough time to drive past the house and go get Emily from school. Then we get home and have to do the snack thing, after the fight to change out of her uniform, before homework. I hate doing homework. THere isn't that much to do. The math and writing she only has on the weekends, but the reading is everyday. Emily is a really good reader. But she is not very good at retelling what she read. She wants to list details and has a hard time summerizing. So. I just about bang my head against the wall or like today, the floor, trying to drag it out of her. And she was rushing with the reading and not being careful. She has a hard time with some pronunciation, I can't blame her for that, but carelessness just drives me up the wall. And OK.........I'll admitt it. I want her to do well, and when she does n't it bother's me a lot. Sometimes it is hard to tell with her if she can't or wont do soemthing. If she if making a mistake because she can't pronounce a word, or if she is just being careless. And I don't want her to need speech anymore, and it bugs me that she does. It's not that I have a problems with her having a disability. I just hate to see her struggle, and I have had no luck finding someoen to work with her, and feel pretty helpless as to where to turn to now. We've hit so many dead ends, I could go on quite the rant about how frustrating it is to find stuff out here, and were really hoping that she would OK for now without it. It is not that I am unwilling to be "inconvienced" to get her speech therapy. I drove her twice a week for two years, starting three days after Samantha was born, ( I had to come home rather than stay an extra day in the hosptical because Alex did not want to have to take her to her first speech therapy session...but that is a different issue with my husband). I just don't know where to take her. I keep going round and round in circles trying to find a therapist. So, Emily's teacher writing in her reading diary that she sometimes has a hard time understanding Emily when she talks, got me quite worked up this afternoon. So when the reading did not go really well, I just wanted to start banging my head. I actually started hitting it on Emily's bedrom floor while crying " why are you doing this to me?" Ridiculouse I know. But I just felt like she was torturing me on purpose. How many times can you say Virginia when it is suppose to be Victoria?? And she gets all fidgity, rather than sitting here nicely and aswering me. Now in my former life I tested kids while they sat on my lap, walked around a room, and had one child literally climb across the table because he was soo ADHD that he could not sit still. That never bothered me, but Emily gets so dancing and stretching all over the place when I am asking her questions, and I just want to glue her to her seat. I know you don't have to be sitting down to hear or be paying attention, but it would be nice if she did it anyway. =)

It's also hard to work on Emily's homework with Samantha around. She wants to help or wants me to read to her while Emily is suppose to be reading her book aloud. Sam can be yammering on and Emily stills reads on. Then I have to tell Emily to start over again, which she really apprecaites. NOT. Often I have to let Sam watch TV, but i try not to make it a habbit. I don't want her tho think that if she is a pest I'll let her watch just to keep her quiet. Did I mention I hate homework time???

well, I have to get them out of the shower and tub.

til later